Walking by, I catch a glimpse of a face more beautiful than I remember
And I wonder.. who is that lovely girl?
Then I realize, it's my face I see
And I wonder.. who is that lovely girl?
Her, AgainAs she stood there and watched him walk away, again, her mind drifted, unbidden, down the path they had walked together. She remembered the times he had stood beside her, the times he had held her up when she couldn't stand on her own, the times he believed in her when she couldn't believe in herself. For so long, she truly believed that she meant something to him, that she was more than a pretty face. He had always seen so deeply inside her, as if the walls she protected herself with weren't even there. Maybe that's why it hurt so badly when he walked away so easily. He had seen all of her, found her lacking, and severed their connection like it meant nothing. She thought of all that was, and all that could have been. As her mind drifted through the memories and dreams, her eyes began to mist, clouding her vision. Still, she stood tall, too hurt by him to risk showing her vulnerability. Her eyes filled with tears, too many for her
AwayYou taught me how to love,
And then you turned away.
I heard your voice again,
Before you disappeared.
untitledThis time, baby, I'll be bullet proof.
Turn around, walk away like it doesn't matter..
This time, it will be the truth.
I'll walk away like I don't care,
like I don't want you every moment,
This time, it will be the truth.
Right up til you want me again,
When all you are melts all of me,
And you destroy my wanna be truth.
Again I'll be yours, clinging to shadows,
Chasing after these lovely dreams..
Dreams that will never be the truth.
UnquenchableGoing down in flames, burnt one last time by this love. The pain melts your mark on my soul beyond all recognition. You've passed the torch, the fire is all my own now, and it burns brightly still. Through all these changes, the fire has remained, forming me within. The marks of my dance remain in the sand to tell the story that shall never be.
Hard in the gut.
No air left.
So this is what pain feels like.
Hole in my soul.
Finally, the tears begin to fall.
You'd cause this?
And still the blood flows.
Still, you're all my heart knows.
For A MomentIf we could let go of all the past pain
For a moment, drop these human constraints
I could love you entirely, unrestrained
And you could love me as I am.
ii.You stitch seams. You know how to stitch your skin together after your dad hits you. Your mother taught you what thread is best for fixing yourself. She taught you in the way of you had to learn yourself because she never did it for you. She is your homeostasis. Your father keeps your blood running. Your father buys you makeup because you have to cover the bruises.
You love your parents.
You seal every cut that you make with clear nail polish because it's cheap and it stings and it's toxic and maybe you'll die faster. Your mother taught you how to paint your nails before she taught you how to keep yourself from landing on the floor after every hit. The more you cut the less you bleed. The hair doesn't even grow back anymore. The cells have begun to protest the abuse like the way you do not. You love your parents. They provide you with everything you could ever want. There are three basic human needs, your AP
The Real YouDay after day, you busy yourself with things that you enjoy, hobbies that make you content, spend time with people who make you laugh. Your friends see you smile and love the sunshine it brings to them, and you yourself are glad you could give them happiness. They see you as someone to turn to when they need to be reminded that life isn't so bad, that there is a way to express joy through the hard times, and they thank you for helping them, even though it seems like you were doing nothing but being yourself. But it was being yourself that spread those smiles to others, wasn't it? A chain reaction caused by the simple act of your own face preforming the ever so contagious grin. They see you as carefree, jubilant, energetic, and nothing seems to bother you. You love when people tell you you've made them smile, and it makes you smile, glad to know that you brought them happiness.
Then you remember who you really are. You remember that they've never seen the real you. You remember that the
sadness when my mind is unmappedsadness.
when my mind
continuos plans and goals
people and noise
a well designed team
but my mapped mind
is peace to me
DeviantArt the beneficiary
of a life long collaboration
of mind mappers
are you under it?
or, is it under you.
it is coming.
surrender your beliefs
open your mind
is the idea
Dear Ex,My heart overflows with gratitude to you for the wonderful way that you've been treating me since our breakup. The past months have been truly enlightening, and the gifts that you have given to me have warmed my heart, strengthened my spirit, and broadened my mind.
First, I must thank you for ignoring me, especially for passing me straight on the street, staring at your shoes as if you hadn't seen me there, even though I had been walking so close to you that our shoulders would have bumped each other, had there been only a foot's less distance between us. The time without you has forced me to reach within myself for the companionship and encouragement that I needed to press on. It has proved to me that you weren't as much as I had made you out to be, and enabled me to learn to carry on without you. You taught me a lot about putting others before myself, versus knowing when to put myself before others.
Secondly, I am grateful for your petty arguments, demanding my attention while
Inner Grells' short stories compilation. A kiss
He kissed me. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces and remained connected and immobile for a brief moment. Now I understand the meaning of locking lips in a kiss. Then he pulled away and I stayed right there, with my eyes closed and the feel of his warmth still on my lips. After several moments I opened my eyes. The world swam. He was looking at me with an aloof sort of a smirk, while I was having trouble keeping my balance. I wonder how I looked from the side. Confused? Out of it?
"You happy now?" Sarcastic.
I tried to think of what to say. Gotta make him laugh. Gotta come up with something witty. Or maybe pout and demand a real kiss? While one part of my mind was occupied with these thoughts, another part honestly reflected on the question: Am I happy? YES. The realization washed over me like a warm wave: I'm happy. He kissed me. Right here, right now, I'm happy.
"Yes," I answered truthfully. I could feel a smile spread on my f
i wanti don’t know what to write here. that i miss you? that it’s not okay and i want your arms around me? i want the smell of you and your hands on my ears, tangled up in my hair. i want you sleeping and peaceful, fingers like butterfly wings on my spine.
i want your car, you and me and highways. i want the night pressed against us and the air thick with sufjan stevens and your voice.
i want your grandmother’s house and bumping hips in that tiny kitchen, your queen size bed and cool sheets, sprawling on the carpet in bare legs and baggy t-shirts, rug burn on the backs of my knees.
i want kissing in your parent’s half-finished basement, your mother asking my opinion of her hair and you shuffling awkwardly in the hallway. i want curling up with you on a tiny couch, half-listening to movies with dust on my feet.
i forgot how you smelled and it’s killing me.